I haven’t written in a while, for fear of permenance, or something, but it’s been holding me back and I’m ready to face the concreteness of this life even be it at a speed of a snail.
So where does that leave us. Currently it’s 3:00am, which, unfortunately, is not unusual these days. Insomnia, or more obsessing/compulsions, is keeping me from a decent nights sleep.
I wonder, like, they say, well, at the beginning these obsessing compulsive behaviors were actually an adaptive and skillful way to deal with the tumultuous waters that were life. Soon came 3:00am day 8 of 4 hours sleep. What was once so adaptive quickly slid like sand through fingers- thoughts of which I realized a much more immenet death perhaps than the fear of the obsessing over what was going to kill me.
I’ve been “keeping busy”- enough, or maybe not, maybe that’s why I’m not sleeping, but that’s not the point. I’m aboard The Brown Horse once again, making my life just a little more magical.